Not The CT I Wanted
I just got the CT imagining report I didn't want—and I am grateful to get it. Let me explain the big picture, then get into my imaging report.
I am practicing “gratitude as focus and personal attention.”
Here’s what I am learning and applying to two findings in the CT scan I received.
Gratitude acts as a deliberate tool of personal attention & focus, training the brain to notice and appreciate positive, "glimmer" moments rather than focusing on deficits or negativity. By intentionally shifting attention to what is going right, this practice reshapes neural pathways, boosts resilience, and fosters a more joyful, "present-moment” experience. You can look at the same thing through to different sides of a glass prism and see two different perspectives.
Gratitude as Active Attention & Focus
• Directs Focus: Gratitude directs attention toward what is working, rather than what is wrong. With cancer and treatments, a strong attitude is a major advantage and using gratitude to see in a different way can be beneficial.
• Alternative to Criticism: While both gratitude and criticism require personal attention, gratitude focuses on appreciation, whereas criticism focuses on faults, uncertainty, doubt, fear and other negative responses that impact our mind and body.
• Rewires the Brain: Consistent practice shifts perception, making the brain more attuned to abundance and positivity over time.
• "Glimmer" Moments: It involves noticing small, positive experiences—like the smell of coffee or a kind word—which can transform daily life. Keep reading to see my use of a glimmer moment that I expect to produce better medical outcomes.
How to Practice Attention-Based Gratitude
• Keep a Journal: List three things you are grateful for each day to train your brain to look for the positive. Gratitude means more than thankful, it means actively looking in a different way to discover angles you may have missed up to now.
• Engage the Senses: Spend 20 seconds truly focusing on a good experience, using all your senses.
• Routine Anchoring: Tie your gratitude practice to a daily habit, such as writing in a journal before bed or in the morning. Writing this blog quickly become anchoring for me.
• Focus on Process, Not Outcome: True gratitude is an "alert attention" and an "innocent perception" that doesn't rely on comparison to others.
Here’s how I’m applying this (copied from my Journal):
Yesterday I read my CT Chest results that showed the nodule in my lower left lung is growing. It went from a few to 3x in size.. And there is a lymph node that is slightly increased in size from prior scan, now measuring a few millimeters larger.
This is a concern because my cancer metastasized through my lymphatic system. I’m grateful I have access to CT scans. I’m grateful I am being followed every three months.
This report allows me to focus on the early detection so that I can start advocating with interventional pulmonary doctors to biopsy my lung and the 5mm node. Gratitude helps me focus clearly on my path ahead and to stay present.
I have to practice this so that I can rewrite my brain. Journaling, writing this down, reinforces this lesson so my neuroplasticity builds "gratitude as focus/attention" into my everyday thinking. My next medical steps are become clear, helping me advocate for a diagnosis more quickly than if I was not focusing on seeing the advantages I have and being grateful for them.
I don't want to bury the headline here. I have a faster growing nodule...and a new lymph node change that is a concern. I just want to share my approach where I purposely see my gratitude increasing my attention and focus for things I can use, and not waste my time and energy creating negative thoughts.
Look into the many ways you can learn to apply gratitude in your journey.